UMAMI MART MATSURI FESTIVAL
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I've taken an initiative here to start a new column. It's a hodgepodge of gay-related posts on food. Please enjoy.

My apartment is filled with stuff. From expensive All-Clad to ass-chap printed glasses to Prada to Louis Vuitton, I have them all. Gaysians are especially bad when it comes to brand names. I usually don't categorize myself as a stereotypical feminine gay Asian, but when it comes to Louis Vuitton and expensive kitchen items, I am a total sucker for them. Whatever it may be, I will buy it.

Let's examine my brand whore-ness here.

My very manly wallet/purse. I have my life in here. Cash, credit cards, insurance cards, house keys, all in one small pouch.

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My very manly purse. I bring it to work everyday, sometimes, filled with lunch items and the container leaks and the bag will smell like soy sauce for the next 10 days. Many other times, it's empty. I walk with it to make sure everyone knows I am a brand whore.

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My travel luggage. Do you see the smashed Louis Vuitton bag underneath the red Prada one?

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On to the kitchen. My favorite glasses. When you are at a store and see this, no matter how much it may be, you MUST buy them, right? Fish's Eddy has them, if you are interested in buying them for yourself.

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After I sold my old nesting bowls to Kayoko, I was in upstate one weekend, and found these beauties. I had to buy them. It was a lot more than I wanted to pay, but every gay guy should have Pyrex nesting bowls.

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Here is my collections of All-Clad pots and pans. It's pots-and-pan-porn. Gosh, I've spent more than $1000 here. I have two other pots that are not shown here. Total of 9 All-Clad pans, each one of them bought separately, not combo set that comes with one useless pot the manufacturer wants to get rid of.

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Stand mixer is sitting next to all the spices and other food related items.

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Dishes, dishes and more dishes. Top shelf is for top notch lacquerware  bowls.

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Le Creuset dutch oven. I always giggle when I say dutch oven. Hehehe.

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Global and Henkel knives. I only use one knife I brought back from Japan (which isn't shown here), but they are pretty and manly to look at.

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In my linen closet, there is an electric hot pot (Zojirushi)-- a very useful item, and versatile since you can grill meat, or make hot posts. Middle are my worst enemy mandolin if you remember my near-death experience. Takoyaki (octopus ball) maker. Every Japanese household should have one of them. And the right is a newly obtained item, the IH cook top. By the way, the bottom right is a leg of ironing board. The linen closet multi-tasks.

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When my mama came to NYC last week, I asked her if she can schlep this IH (induction heating) cook-top for me. It's not widely known here yet, but IH cook-tops are so useful.  It's an electric burner, basically.

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The options are endless with this thing. You can deep fry a whole fish on the counter top. I am not kidding. Or you can use Le Crueset pot and have a wonderful hot pot party. In the winter time, people have hot pots like every night, and needs a ton of gas canisters, but this one doesn't require any gas. Yet, it heats up so high that you can totally do table cooking very easily. You can find these cook-tops here, but they are still pricey. I think this was only 8000 yen (due to strong yen however, it's close to $100. Thanks mama!)

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Every part of my apartment contains kitchen items, due to lack of space in NYC homes. A modern TV stand, right?

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Plastic bowls, rice, cocktail shaker, more dishes, and candle holders are all stored here.

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More dishes; rice cooker on bottom left; and serving platters. Bottom right is an expensive lacquer box for Osechi (New Year's celebration), in which tons of ivory spoons and forks are stored (I don't know how real they are, but I bought tons of them in Bali last year since they were dead cheap).

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Do I need to have three different sizes of soy sauce dispensers? Definitely not, but I couldn't resist when I saw these in Japan. They are modern, yet very useful. They don't drip at all. When you buy soy sauce dispenser, the most problematic thing is that it leaks when you  pour. But these guys are leak-proof.

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Even coffee table center is actually a big serving bowl.  My current knitting project is sitting in there.

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I didn't bother digging out my pasta-maker, hand held blender, blender, collapsing colander, ice cream machine, all the cake pans, piping tips and cookie cutters, my mother's handmade chopstick rests, hard boiled egg shapers, 18 rubber spatulas I bought just because each color looked pretty.

Thousands upon thousands of dollars have been spent throughout the years. I have no regrets though. When you buy expensive stuff, such as All-Clad, Prada and Louis Vuitton, you can basically use them until you die. They (including All-Clad) have a lifetime warranty, so they will fix/replace if it breaks under normal use. At the end of the day, Brand Whore wins, I hope.

As I've said in the past, we all eat pussies and dicks, so life is all about eating, right? This is Faglicious.
Column: Faglicious
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7 comments

  • Great post! I’m a total Vuitton lover too. Can’t help it, although most of what I have is vintage from my ma. Saving the pennies to get my own.

    sakura on

  • And yes, life is all about “eating”. DYING.

    kayoko on

  • I want those glasses. Want those shoyu dispensers. Want that luggage.

    GIVE ME.

    But the Prada luggage looks heavy? My next big purchase will be a Mandarina Duck suitcase. Sakura, ditto on saving the pennies. Mamas are the best. I’ve got vintage Gucci from Hideko!

    I used to be a brand whore too, but my tastes are changing. I just like nice things in general, I guess. And Uniqlo.

    I do have a closet full of really expensive, key pieces, which I never get to wear/use any more. It was really fun to be in the glamorous art world for that. Besides, you don’t really dress up in California. It kinda makes me sad.

    Great post, Yama. I laughed hard. This is what I get for relinquishing control. Love you!

    kayoko on

  • I thought my kitchen appliance/cookware obsession was bad… but now I’m comforted in the fact that its not as bad as I thought!!! lovesit

    Vivian on

  • I need those pyrex bowls. I love how the colour matches your Le Creuset dutch oven. Also, why does “dutch oven” make you giggle?

    Craig on

  • I just woke up from a nap, at first foggy eyed glance, I was curious to know how Prada bags and LV are used to cook with. I imagined something like boot soup- but with designer purses. Come to think of it there might be a market for that.

    The assless chap glasses are fabulous. Very cool.

    Bryan on

  • Prada luggage is not practical at all. The brown one is an old school suitcase, and you have to carry them. It’s heavy by itself, but you look damn good. All the faggy flight attendants look at my luggage with envy, which makes me feel good.

    For suitcase, you should definitely go for Rimowa. It is super light, and holds so much inside!

    Vivian, aside from all the dishes and other equipments, I have about 85 glasses. Half of them are in storage, but I hate plastic cups for parties, so I have glasses in every shape..

    Yamahomo on

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