Holiday Gift Guide

Is it really the last day of Sloth Season? Say it ain't so! Sigh. Totally not fair considering the Bay Area has been a shroud of fog, gloom and sweater-weather all "summer". In Dante's Inferno, San Francisco is not unlike the third circle of hell, where the gluttonous are punished in eternal rain and relentless cold.

Fitting, actually for the Umamimart family.

What better way to end all the slovenly sloth (who live in Dante's fifth circle of hell) than the laziest edition of Lazyass Cookin' yet. This is a recipe of my mama's that I grew up eating. She would make it for fancier occasions so of course I always assumed she slaved over the dish when I was younger. Turns out Hideko is the President & CEO of Lazyass Cookin'. Such trickery.

Now, here's your chance to trick yourself, and guests too!

Fresh, colorful tomatoes are still abundant at the farmer's market (at least here on the west coast, as of this past Saturday), so please enjoy this recipe while they are still around.

Jorge, a guy I work with, gave me this gorgeous green tomato.


Slice lengthwise.


Chop onions into little pieces. I like mine a little spicy, so always opt for the Spanish yellow onion. Chop them uniformly if you're trying to make a good impression, but otherwise, fuck it. We're lazy.


Ingredients for the dressing: Shoyu, vinegar, sesame seeds. You can use ponzu instead of the shoyu and vinegar, but I didn't have any. Probably could have added some sake and mirin too, but whatever. As Hideko would say: Do as you please!


Mix above into a cup. I would say one part soy, one part vinegar, and just a little drizzle of the sesame oil. Not too much, as it gets really overpowering otherwise. Adjust to taste.

Place tomatoes flat on a plate. Sprinkle the onions over it. Then pour the dressing over it, evenly.


Here's the most important part: put this in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes so it gets nice and COLD! If you're like me and are perpetually in a rush, go ahead and cheat by putting it in the freezer. Ideally though, this is something you want to keep cold in the fridge until the last moment when you're ready to sit down and eat.

This seriously takes about five minutes from start to finish, in preparation. Doesn't get much lazier than that. And such a great way to celebrate ripe, sweet tomatoes!

Enjoy the rest of the summer, mes amis! May Sloth Season last for as long as we can possibly get away with it.

Column: Lazyass Cookin'


  • Do you rinse onions, or just as is? I like my raw onions soaked in water, so that it cuts strong flavor, plus it gets crisper.

    Yamahomo on

  • Oh, Yama, always looking for ways NOT to be lazy…

    Yes, soak in water if you have the energy/time, good idea. Although I personally like the pungency of raw onion so never soak.

    I never knew that it makes it crisper, and thought that it actually makes it more soggy?

    kayoko on

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