Umami Mart Barware
Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Lazy here. Very very lazy. Yet, I have a knack for going into my fridge and whipping up random dishes that are at times bizarre, but always edible. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Goya Champloo Breakfast Burrito. It's kinda genius, if I do say so myself, plus it seriously only took me like five minutes to make. Perfect for you lazy folk who are all fascinated by (but will never, ever achieve) Yamahomo's tireless creative energy in the kitchen.

Goya = Nigauri = Bitter Melon. A vegetable, popular in hot climate countries, discussed by both Yoko and Sakura. I bought a smallish one the other week from my favorite Indian market, and of course panicked one morning when I realized that it was on the brink of going bad in my fridge box.

The mind reeled.

Goya champloo or champuru (whichever spelling you fancy) is a trademark Okinawan dish usually consisting of egg, pork, tofu, goya and onions. This is all I had in the fridge.

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Ham + goya + onion. That's it-- gotta improvise. At this point I'm thinking, "Shit, do I really have to wash some rice and wait for it to cook?" NO! This is LAZY! I remembered I had some corn tortillas in the fridge. Ahhhh yahhh.

As an aside, let me say that I am absolutely obsessed with the above maple ham slices by Ranch Brothers. They are a local Northern California pig farm and I seriously go through a pack of these a week. I am quite the connoisseur of ham, and this ranks high on my list for sure.

As Yoko instructed, cut goya down the middle and spoon out the inside white part.

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Slice thin. They look like caterpillars, but such vibrant color!

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Slice ham and onions.

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Begin to sautee everything together with some cooking oil (I use olive oil always, but maybe burns too fast).

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

When it all cooks through (try the goya, it should be bitter, but not so hard), add an egg. Please excuse the steam in all the pics from this point forward. It's HOT IN HERE.

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Make room in your pan to warm the tortilla.

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Et voila! Garnish with avocado if you have it.

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

At this point, the Okinawan says, "Damn those Americans, fucking with our National Dish!"

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

Douse with Tapatio.

Lazyass Cookin': Goya Champloo Bfast Burrito

I am lazy. But I'm also SO SMART!