UMAMI MART MATSURI FESTIVAL
Dear Pink Mango, I mean Red Berry, I mean Red Mango,

From the beginning, everyone was talking about how Red Mango is true frozen yogurt, that is certified by American Yogurt Association or whatever as "frozen yogurt". We waited for a long time in the big apple for your arrival. Meanwhile, we queued up at your "fake" competitor Pinkberry for 30 minutes every time we craved for that tangy, yogurty, refreshing taste.

You have to understand New Yorkers are fake. We put on fake accents, fake tans, fake personalities, and fake boobs in order to fit into this fake city. When we bump into long lost friends, we always say "Let's definitely get together", but most of the time, we already deleted the person's phone number. But we don't care since we know we will say the same thing next time we bump into them. They do the same. Fake is the basis of this city.

We got so hooked on your competitor's fake frozen yogurt while you were coming up with "how to beat your competitor" business plan. Your competitor's store also fits right into fake New York. Cute, cheap yet highly stylish store is attractive. No one knows why the hell they display a lot of Alessi craps on the walls, but they add cuteness to the stores even more.

Your store, however, is bare minimum. It's almost worse than Tasti D-light shops where people can at least surf the web, buy cookies, cakes, and who knows, they might even start selling macarons to keep the business. Small and steady might be their motto. You might have high hopes to beat Pinkberry this summer, but mind you, the frozen yogurt market share has basically been taken over by your competitors.

Now let's talk about the taste. As I said, we are totally hooked on the fake Pinkberry. They finally disclosed their ingredients, and whatever is in it, it tastes damn good. They might even have add MSG. Compared to theirs, your stuff is too much. I know it's all natural ingredients as you HEAVILY advertise at your store, with quotation mark added "original" everywhere. But I must say, it's too thick, and too heavy. I usually order medium size at Pinkberry, but I can barely finished your small size. Also I felt I needed to wash it down with water at the end. Pinkberry, on the other hand, refreshes my thirst.

Red Mango, I am afraid you came in too late- being on 6th Avenue, right next to a MacDonald's and a bank, might also hurt you. "True" vs. "Fake" might be what you want to express, but we like our "fake" too much.

I am so sorry Red Mango, I will make my own version, or keep going to Pinkberry, but not to your stores...

RIP.

Sincerely,

Yamahomo
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