Umami Mart Registry

Can you believe it?!?!? Governor Cuomo and a bunch of super wealthy Republican bankers really said YES to gay marriage in the state of New York. When it was announced that, "Same sex marriage bill has passed", I was overcome with amazement, joy, "it's about f#*&ing time"--a lot of emotions.

Until this becomes a federal law (and they get rid of DOMA), the fight continues, but at least this is a HUGE and symbolic accomplishment. When I heard Republican Senator Mark Grisanti talk about how agonizing it was for him to make the decision, but that he just couldn't bear to think that the same person who lives just like everyone else couldn't get married because of his/her sexual preference--I was all teary. I made a visit to Stonewall Inn Saturday night and it was packed with happy faces.

The day has finally come when we have the same right as everyone else to be wed. Hooray! Can you imaging planning a gay wedding? How bitchy and meticulous the clients would be?!

So this year's Pride weekend made a perfect occasion for me to make a kicked-up version of my beloved Barbie Doll Cake.

My friend organizes an annual pride party where gallons and gallons of frozen margaritas are consumed, and after my Barbie cake experience, naturally I had to make another version, even more funnier than last time.

Preparation started three weeks prior to the main day.

It's a Pride cake, so I have to use Ken, but make him look pretty, right? I've seen someone using G.I. Joe and made a very butch drag cake, but I wanted something more elegant. So I bought both Ken and Barbie, plus an additional barbie head (nowadays, her head is interchangeable--so advanced).


He is too butch with short hair even with a crown on his head.


Somehow, I need to swap his head with hers. I really wanted to use his body, but I was afraid I might break it if I yanked the head. Oh, Barbie and Ken, what can I do?


I brought them into the office, and consulted with some of the female colleagues on what I should do. If you grow up playing with Barbie, I am sure they have done some horrible things to it.

Christy suggested I should just yank the head and swap. So I had a sex change operation in my cubicle. First I yanked off his head.


Then attached Barbie on his body.


I love how muscular the neck is. It totally worked!

Post-op Ken was totally happy with her pretty new face and hairdo. Posing with her twin sister Barbie.


Then I tried different hairstyles.

This updo is elegant. Looks like Katherine Heigl.


How about a bit loose like this?


Or crazy like that?


Is this too trendy?


Is this better?


Then I needed underwear on her. What kind of proper lady dress without undergarments?! I added food coloring to the marzipan and fitted her with a bra and panty set.


After all, he is a boy, so the bulge is necessary.

A bit too thick of a thong...


Looks more like a sumo wrestler's diaper. Oh well.

Then I went to Strawberry's and found the ugliest earrings, which I thought would make perfect head pieces. Plus I had a these laser lights from a friend of mine who went to Whitney's new location launch party.


Again, he is so muscular, yet, very elegant from the head up. I hairsprayed the hell out of his hair so it would hold the "hairpieces" well.


Now it's time to bake the cake. I was going to make this from scratch, but I knew that the cake is all about the Barbie, not so much about the cake itself, so I bought boxed cake instead. I thought about coloring the batter in rainbow shades, but I was too lazy, so just added a drop of food color and swirled it around.


Trippy and artistic.


I feared that the inside of the cake may not have the swirl, but oh well.

I used three boxes of cakes, made four regular rounds, and one sphere shaped one.


Since store-bought frosting is so gross, I made icing this time. Three pounds of cheese, six sticks of butter, four cups of powdered sugar. Good stuff.


Then color.


My idea for this cake was rainbow shades on the front side, plus an elegant black dress. Coloring white cream into black involves a lot of black food coloring. Still it was a dark gray.


Time to assemble. Remembering the disaster from my wedding cake adventure, I stuck dowels in the cake to avoid any incidents.


Crumb coat her.


Chill her for an hour. Crap, she was too tall to fit into the fridge, so I had to bend her neck.


Poor girl. After this, I could never fit the head back in properly. Her head was wobbly for the rest of her life.

Time to have fun. Decorate front side with rainbow.


Add an accent piece of jewelry if you have one.


All the piping on the back side was pain the ass.


I think cream cheese icing was a bit on the loose side, but held well enough.


After a couple hours of piping, she is finally ready for the show. I also made wings using the same earrings.



Compared to Barbie, you can tell how drag queen perfect she/he is with thick neck and muscular body structure.



Details of her dress.


Chill her until her show time. This time, I removed bunch of stuff from the fridge so she can stand without bending her neck.


On Sunday, I delivered the cake (luckily he lives a block from my apt). Just a little photo shoot on the stoop.


A dog was eyeing her right near us. We quickly picked her up to avoid any disasters.

Ah, she has arrived to the destination. Compare her gaze closely to her former Ken face.


He looks so sad.

Waiting for guests to arrive in the center of living room.


Someone stuck her pre-op face on her hand. Everyone thought she was a piñata, so we had to explain that this was actually an edible cake. Then people were very impressed by my work.


Time to eat/play with her. Do you see the nice diamond on her crotch?


After four hours of drinking margaritas, we were not in a mood to eat cake, but totally ready to play. Just like last time, we had fun with her, but it did not get as dirty. Ken's body is less flexible than Barbie, plus his headpieces were pretty heavy, so we couldn't steady him to do much actions.


We dumped her on leftover vegetable platter. We tried to put her in inappropriate poses, but as I said, it wasn't as fun as a girl. After all, boys are not as flexible than girls.




One of the guest at the party said EVERYONE in Nebraska gets a Barbie cake for their Sweet 16. I bet she is not as dirty or deeply thought through as this one, though.

It was so much fun to prepare, and think about what I could do, and after I finished decorating it, I lost interest. Next time, I will use a Barbie head and make an even larger cake. When would that be?

If you live in Manhattan, and want this cake, please contact me at It won't be cheap, but it will make your party extra fun!