ReCPY: Macaron = DV (Domestic Violence)

Not that I've ever beaten anyone up, but I think macaron-making is somewhat similar to the mentality of a wifebeater's wife. You get so fed up with the multiple failures, from all the physical and mental abuse, and you want to leave him, but when you are about to say goodbye for good, he becomes very kind and nice to you--so you decide to stay and continue to make an effort.

Then he beats you again.

I've probably made macarons 100 times, and it's never a consistent journey. I've had so many failures, successes -- you would think that by now, I would be able to tell when the batter is ready by just looking at it. Yet, the results are sometimes disastrous. I've read this myth buster post from Brave Tart on macarons, which I feel is legit since she bakes macarons for a living.

Helen from Brave Tart tells us that it's not the eggs, nor almonds, nor resting, nor drying that causes all the troubles in macaron-making. But then why is it so inconsistent?

By the way, I found a new recipe that gives a bit more consistent results compared to my Ladurée challenges. There are also so many recipes with differences in ratios.

120g almond flour
140g powdered sugar
100g egg whites (just about 3 eggs)
60g sugar

Below is somewhat good, but I don't like the peak in the middle. Probably under-mixed.



For these, I only used rice flour instead of almond flour, which gave me a very stable batter.

Came out very nicely with tall legs. But they were a bit chalky.



These are vanilla macaron with raspberry mascarpone filling. Pretty good.





Again, the legs aren't tall enough.

This is when the serious DV started for me.

Pink macaron for Valentine's Day. You can see the batter is pretty rough.



A complete failure.



Although this was a complete disaster, I kept going and made a second batch. This time, matcha macarons.  I made the biggest mistake in macaron making. I was already bummed by the above results (mental abuse), and starting thinkin if I should continue this relationship with macarons. These are the hard times when you can't think straight.  Your brain is filled with doubts, and exit strategies. So I forgot to add powdered sugar. It's half the ingredients in macaron making, and I forgot to add it.



This is my tart tatin moment of failure in creating a new dessert. I already failed pink macarons, now my second batch with matcha was a total disaster. As a stereotypical DV situation, I tried not to look at my bruises, and just looked at the bright side.  So I continued baking them until very crisp. So here are matcha wafers.  hey are super crisp and not sweet (just a little bit of sugar I put in when making meringue), almost refreshing.



Out of my DV relationship, I at least found a way to turn failed macaron into something else. It's like, "See,my husband isn't so bad. He always apologizes after he beats the shit out of me."

After waiting for the macarons to cool, you can even dip them into white chocolate, like this:



This was third failed batch of cocoa macarons. These were very nutty and sweet. Pretty awesome. Just like any DV case, I already forgot about the beating, and totally liked my new discovery in the relationship with macaron. It's like, "He remembered our anniversary, how sweet of him."



I had to make something presentable since the next day was Valentine's Day, so I used unrested eggs. Although the surface was a bit rough, they came out pretty good.



I was making gift boxes.



Pink and matcha macaron with a crunchy piece in the middle.



With my logo, I finally pulled off the gift boxes.



Another nipple top batch. Why?



I stuffed them homemade white bean paste mixed with mascarpone. I put vanilla beans in the shell, and these are some of the best tasting batches, yet, I am not 100% happy about nipple top.



Yep, I still can't get out of this abusive relationship.

I totally feel like Enis from Brokeback Mountain: "I wish I could quit you..."